- Suffering together is the quickest route to bonding between humans that I have come across in my short life. How a group of 20 people can go from complete strangers to feeling closer than family in the first 30 days of fire season is some kind of magic.
- There is a psychological toll and subtle eviction of self when women spend significantly more time with men than with other women. Being “one of the guys” grants you access to a lot, but it robs you as well.
- We absolutely must take care of ourselves with whatever means available. Sometimes self-care is flossing your teeth or changing your socks or writing affirmations on your hand.
- Doing hard things just for hard’s sake is overrated. 6 years of gutting out miserable work and pushing my limits has made me more discerning about what is truly worth it.
- Hotshot crews source a lot of pride from the fact that they are just a little more miserable than everyone else. We work longer shifts, in steeper terrain, on hotter, more dangerous pieces of line, in thicker brush, with hikes in and out that others won’t even attempt. We eat more MREs, oftentimes cold, we rarely get to shower, rarely see a bed, rarely see a day off. Low grade misery pervades everything, but it’s seasoned with plenty of dark humor, camaraderie, and endorphins to foster a good time.
- Most people have never experienced true sleep deprivation and it is downright painful once you reach a certain point.
- On that note, I can do anything on a good night of sleep. Anything.
- The last 6 years have taught me how to be miserable. I do it quite well. So well, in fact, I can make myself even more miserable than is reasonable or warranted. Lol.
- Self-pity is self-harm. The ability to reframe a situation is one of the most valuable skills a person can have.
- It’s quite hard to stay in love when you rarely see your partner and are very much otherwise engaged/distracted. Love is a choice and it is work and it requires a certain level of presence.
- A journal entry from this season: “It’s a new day, and every time it’s the end of the day and I think I can’t keep doing it, I have to know that I’ll feel different in the morning. I have to know that.”
- The key is trusting yourself to handle whatever it is you’re anxious about in the moment it presents itself, rather than letting it occupy mental real estate when it’s still pure abstraction.
- People attach themselves to structures, to titles, to neatly wrapped pre-packaged/ribboned personas with all associated components built in. We care about how it looks, how it sounds, what the title will summon up in peoples’ imaginations more than the nitty gritty, day-to-day of what it is we actually do. Most of what we do is just a means to an end – and that end? It’s acceptance. It’s respect. It’s fundamental, it’s primal, it’s innate. But what we fail to metabolize is the truth that the kind of acceptance that really heals us does not give a shit about what you do for work or what your title is or how fit or tough or rich or beautiful you are.
- You will create a lot of internal friction by curating a life that you no longer even want.
- At the end of the day, it has always been and always will be about the people.
2 thoughts on “15 Lessons I Learned in Fire (That Have Nothing to do with Fire)”
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How very insightful! I love that you pondered and reflected on what you’ve been through, how it affected you, and what you learned from it. A little window into your life. Thank you for sharing and caring enough to write it for others to see and learn from too. 🙏🤗
Great read and I’m proud of you for sticking it out and knowing when it’s time to move on. Your introspection is always fascinating as you have the ability to put into words what most of us just react to. Glad I was able to be part of your journey and look forward to seeing you succeed in your next adventure!