Once a week for the past 2 months, I’ve done an interval workout consisting of 4 rounds of 4-minute sprints at an RPE 8 (gross) & 4-minute recovery. It doesn’t sound like much, but I do some serious mental gymnastics to lace up for it every time. If you’ve ran the 800m in track & field, it’s got the same awful flavor – short enough to feel like a sprint, but long enough to put you in the when-will-it-end-pain-cave. It’s mentally brutal, as your mind is just constantly calculating how long you can keep the pace for.
I usually do this workout on the treadmill because once I set the speed, I don’t have the option to slow down without intentionally pushing a button. It holds me accountable. And yet, I’ve still found a small way to back down: I’ve observed myself several times ending the sprint with 2 or 3 seconds left on the 4-minute timer.
Now physiologically speaking, does this make a huge difference? No. Sprinting for 237 seconds instead of 240 seconds is not going to make or break my fitness – and holy shit I just wanted it to end can you blame me – but it’s bigger than that.
The last time I did this, the image of 00:00:03 on my timer was burnt into my mind. I had a zoom-out moment and the familiar voice of my wiser self said “So…that’s who we’re deciding to be now?”
*shame*
There’s a quote most everyone is familiar with: “How you do anything is how you do everything”. I don’t fully agree with that.There are absolutely times to half-ass things. We all have a limited capacity for effort (sorry, it’s true).
HOWEVER, when I cut corners in areas of my life that I say are priorities (training is a huge one for me), I’m putting marbles in a metaphorical jar that says: A. it’s not as important as I say it is, and B. I’m the kind of person who just wants to skate by.
These seemingly trivial instances of shaving a few seconds here, cutting a corner there (especially within pursuits you’ve identified as “important”) erode at your concept of self. Trust, confidence, & integrity are both built and destroyed by small decisions over time. Your identity (and self-esteem) rests on repeated proof that you are who you say you are.
I do not want to be the kind of person who stops sprinting with a few seconds still left on the clock. I feel most fulfilled (and best about myself) when I show up to my supposed values with presence, immersion, & devotion. I don’t want to half-ass them. I don’t even want to 3/4 ass them.
If I’ve identified something as a priority/value, it’s because I know in my core that it will move the needle in the right direction. I know it contributes to the woman I want to be and the life I want to lead this go around. I am NOT here to f*ck around with EITHER of those things.
You will reap what you sow – even if the crop doesn’t ultimately look like what you thought it would. Respect your values. If something is truly important to you, dig your heels in and give it a proper effort from start to finish. Take responsibility for your outcomes and run like prey ‘til the timer’s up.